Facebook GeoLocation -- Part 2

Apparently I wasn't the only one bashing Facebook's new geolocation service: "Facebook Places."  A recent article on CNN reflected a great deal of less than amicable feedback Facebook has been receiving about the service.  You can read that article here. Facebook's response was to call their critics (like me) idiots and claim that the criticism comes form a lack of understanding about how the service works.  They even had a press release explaining, to morons like myself, the finer details about how the service functions.  Thanks Facebook guys but, I'm not stupid, I know how the service works, and it's still a really bad idea for kids.

Facebook's defense of their new geolocation service is the same old defense they use whenever they add a new feature that is unpopular with the general public...."you don't have to use it."  Their explanation was that Facebook Places only reports a user's location if that user "check's in" by clicking a link on their page.  They went on to say that if parents are concerned about the feature they should tell their children not to use it.  Brilliant.  That will work.  Parents have been concerned for years about their children drinking and doing drugs...and for years they have been "telling their kids not to use it."  How well has that worked?

If you put a gadget on Facebook, kids are going to use it.  As I said in my last post about this topic, studies show that teenagers are drawn to and will use gadgets and widgets on sites like Facebook and MySpace, even if they aren't sure what they do.  The more gadgets the better.  A parent's request for a child not to use a feature isn't the solution.

What is the solution?  I would like to think that limiting the Facebook Places feature to adult accounts would solve this problem, but it wouldn't.  Kids will lie about their age to get onto Facebook as they have for years.  I would also hope that limiting the the service to Facebook mobile would solve it but kids with smartphones would still use it.

So what does a concerned parent do? As long as there are irresponsible companies like Facebook making dangerous toys for your kids, the only thing you can do is talk to them.  Explain why these features are a bad idea.  Explain the risks involved.  Set expectations and have consequences.  If your child has a Facebook page, insist that you have access to it.  Monitoring their page will reveal whether or not they are using gadgets like Facebook Places.  Also, tools like Norton Online Family should report such usage.

I still maintain that Facebook is no place for kids.  The company obviously cares little about privacy and safety for children and continues to make decisions that ignore these concepts.  There are other alternatives (like Yoursphere.com) that give kids the same capabilities but in a safer environment without "sharp edges."

Long Term Danger of Social Media for Kids

Michael Schmidt, CEO of Google, said some very interesting things in an interview with the Wall Street Journal about long term risks associated with children using social media sites.  I would link you directly to the article on the WSJ website but since their public-facing website is one of the most non-intuitive sites in existence (I guess to inspire you to pay for their member-only website), I can't.  So here is a link to an article from BBC on the interview.

The gist of the interview was that our kids are living in a time when every thing they do online -- every word they write, every picture they post, every website they visit, every song or video they download -- could potentially be recorded and discovered later in life.  Mr. Schmidt theorizes that it may be the case in the future that young people have to legally change their names to hide their digital past from potential employers, future spouses, political rivals, etc.  Interesting idea and probably not that far-fetched.

Whenever we think of risks to kids online, we think of the usual stuff: cyber-bullies, sexual predators, pornography, hate propaganda, etc.  The parents and teachers I talk to on a regular basis don't bring up long term "reputation damage" as a risk they are concerned about.  Maybe they should be.

We've all heard the scenario in the news...a young, new school teacher is denied a job or even fired because of some pictures or video he/she posted online while they were in college.  Many employers who are trying to avoid the HR nightmare of hiring a "train wreck" will surf YouTube, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, etc. for social information about a candidate.  Those topless pictures from a party holding a beer in one hand and a bottle of tequila in another are probably not going to help young Jane land that first teaching job.

Let's look at some uncomfortable truths for a moment...kids are on social media sites, kids make bad decisions sometimes, kids live in the moment, kids often don't consider long-term ramifications of their actions.  On my own Facebook page, I am friends with many of my younger cousins and children of my friends.  I often see collections of pictures or videos they post the day after a big party and am shocked that they would post such compromising content.  Last month, on my Facebook home page I saw a note that my friend's daughter (22 years old) posted pictures in a collection called "Frogfest 2010."  In that collection she had pictures of herself, passed out drunk, in various poses arranged by her friends.  She had obscene things written on her in some pictures, she was stripped nearly naked in others, and the coup de grace was her lying on the ground, topless, covered in her own vomit, with a whiskey bottle in her hand.  And the text below these pictures indicated she was proud of her accomplishments.  One tag was "don't tell me I don't know how to party."  Once those pictures are placed on Facebook, they are the property of the world.  Anyone can download them, post them on other social media sites, e-mail them to friends, etc.  And let's not forget that the pictures probably were taken by cell phones, not cameras (which is another avenue of transfer).  How will these pictures help this girl 3 years from now when she applies for a job as a kindergarten teacher at Virgin Mary Academy?

Think of these bad decisions as STD's (we'll call them social-media transmitted diseases as opposed to sexually transmitted diseases) because they behave much the same way.  A bad decision in a moment of excitement can have damaging, long-term affects on the rest of your child's life.  When your kids are old enough to have cell phones, Facebook pages, and Twitter accounts, talk to them and explain the dangers.  They'll still make stupid choices but maybe you can help minimize the damage.

SocialShield.com Article at AlmostSavvy

An e-mail from Tom H. asks "What do you know about SocialShield.com?"  Well Tom, I know that it is software that allows parents to monitor their childrens' social media sites (like Facebook) and I know they currently have commercials playing on the radio.  Other than that, I don't know much about it.  My only opinions about it so far are A.) It sounds like many of the services they charge you for you can get free from tools like Norton Online Family B.) Their board of directors are all advertisers or bill consolidators (which might suggest they are more interested in making money than in helping kids) C.) Their commercials are obviously preying on fear instead of delivering a positive message.

I was going to review SocialShield but my colleague Irene Koehler of AlmostSavvy.com did a fantastic job reviewing it, so I'll let you read hers.  AlmostSavvy.com is a great resource for people trying to become familiar with social media sites, especially parents who are trying to understand the environment for their kids sake.

Here is a link to Irene's article and here is the actual article that she wrote:

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Helping Kids Stay Safe Online. Is SocialShield the Answer?
Posted by Irene Koehler in Facebook, Social Media on June 18, 2010

As a parent, there have been many moments in my life when I considered locking my child in a closet. It would have been for her own safety, mind you. And, I would have let her out when she was, say, 30 or so. I realized that I might have had some legal entanglements to deal with along the way, but there were still those moments when I wondered “what if…”
It’s Scary Out There

Before you call the authorities to report me, there are two important things you should know:

   1. No, I never really did this – not even for a second. But, it is a scary world out there. I also never used one of those leash-things with my daughter, but I did come to understand why some parents choose to do so.
   2. My child is no longer a minor and perfectly able to manage her own life now. She somehow managed to make it through her formative years relatively unscathed, despite my occasional urges to save her from the outside world.

We all want to protect our children for as long as possible, yet we also want them to learn how to navigate the world on their own, making smart decisions along the way. How do we find that balance of holding on and letting go? It is already an enormous challenge in the real world. For many parents, the prospect of helping their children stay safe in the virtual world is even more overwhelming.

Enter SocialShield

If you are looking for a way to monitor your kid’s online browsing activity or chat/IM conversations, there are many easy tools which will allow you to do so. There are numerous keystroke-logging programs which record each word your child types on the keyboard, meaning you get to see everything – emails, passwords, the whole enchilada. These tools may let you know what your child is doing online, but tell you nothing about the identity of their friends or their friends’ activity. It is often this more meaty information that parents seek in order to prevent their children from falling prey to a bully or sexual predator.

Stating that their tools “give parents a 360° view of their kids’ social networking activities,” SocialShield has recently received quite a bit of media attention. After reading yesterday’s post on ReadWriteWeb about the new service, I decided to sign-up for the trial period and take it for a test drive.
Setting Up My SocialShield Account

SocialShield provides a free 14-day trial period. Like most services, this requires credit card information up front. Once the information was entered, I moved on to “Add a Child.” I wondered how they would be able to access my child’s information without knowing her password and how they would verify that it was indeed my own child I was adding. I was curious to see what would prevent me from monitoring a friend (or a stranger) by adding them to my account.

To add my daughter, I added all of her email addresses and selected “I attest that this is my daughter” from the drop-down list of choices. On the list are son/daughter, nephew/niece, grandson/granddaughter, other male/female. To test whether SocialShield magically knew if the person I was adding was really  my child (of course, it can’t know this), I decided to add another person. Not wanting to spy on a friend or a stranger, I chose the one person in that comfortable middle-ground. I selected “other – female” and added my mother, feeling fairly sure I wouldn’t uncover anything scandalous.

Once you’ve added a child, there it is front and center: you need your kid’s passwords. If you were looking for the secret door into your kid’s accounts without having access to their login credentials, this isn’t it (hint: it doesn’t exist). And, simply being Facebook friends with them isn’t enough to get you the information needed for SocialShield to do its thing and alert you to potentially problematic friends and activity. At this point in the process, you can either connect SocialShield to their accounts yourself if you know their usernames and passwords or you can generate an email which is sent to the child asking them to allow access.

This will then lead the child to add their accounts to SocialShield by using Facebook Connect, for example. I discussed this with my daughter ahead of time and she authorized access to her account herself.

My SocialShield Report

• I received a number of alerts for my daughter’s Facebook account. SocialShield highlighted her Facebook friends who were “significantly older” and those who have “adultlike accounts.”
• To take another look at how alerts were triggered, I also added myself to my SocialShield account. As I did with my mother, I selected “Other – female.” I received 12 pages of alerts for my own friends, most of which were triggered by “adultlike accounts.”
• SocialShield was able to find and display 150+ photos of me from Facebook, yet was not able to find any of my daughter’s 700+ Facebook photos.
• SocialShield alerted me to an update posted by one of my daughter’s friends on her Facebook wall because it included the word head. Of course, each parent needs to evaluate the context on their own. In this instance, her friend was referencing a song which “got stuck in” his head.
• While I did not request that my mother authorize access to her accounts, SocialShield did tell me that she has (wait for it…) a MySpace account. Really? My mother, whose 75th birthday is this weekend, is on MySpace? After the laughter subsided, I went to MySpace to search for her. Searching for her name delivered no results. Searching for her email address delivered one result – a 24 year old male with Tom as his only MySpace friend. Something seems wonky here. It seems someone may have used her email address to set up an account and that SocialShield did a simple search for her email address without any way to verify her identity.

The Important Stuff: My Overall Impressions

Straight to the point, my high-level thoughts:

• SocialShield and other monitoring tools are gaining traction because there is real risk out there in the online world. The concept is a solid one. Many parents want a quick and, for the less savvy parents, easy way to keep on eye on their kids’ activity.
• There is no way to automate parenting. We cannot assign responsibility to software or an online service to do the hard work for us. Nothing replaces having an ongoing dialogue with our children about the world and how to make the right choices. (More on this to come in an upcoming post.)
• While the concept may be solid, SocialShield’s execution needs quite a bit of work  (examples below).

Specific concerns (in no particular order):

• One of the key points in the ReadWriteWeb article was the endorsement of the PTA. While I was able to find this information repeated on many other websites, I could not find anything about it on either the PTA or the SocialShield websites. If the endorsement is real, I would expect to be able to verify it easily.
• The FAQ section should be much more robust. For example, when my results indicated “adultlike accounts” for a huge number of my own and my daughter’s friends, I naturally wanted to understand the meaning of this term. Nowhere on the site is this explained. Does this mean that these people have LinkedIn profiles (which usually means the person is an adult) or that they post porn to their Facebook accounts? I tweeted the question to SocialShield and received this reply: “An account like costco really should be only for adults, not kids. we may find someone who says he’s a kid has this=red flag. A red flag like that says there’s something wrong and you need to look deeper at that person or account. we look at more than fifty sites like this to see if we can find suspicious items.” I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Costco that triggered hundreds of my friends to be labeled as an “adultlike account,” but I get the idea. Either way, the triggers and definitions need to be explained in order to be useful to parents.
• I think most adults don’t understand what goes on behind the scenes when granting access through Facebook Connect. It is entirely unreasonable to generate the email shown earlier, send it to a (presumably) young child, expect them to read/understand it and then walk through the Facebook Connect process. There is no way for the parent to know ahead of time what will be sent to the child.
• Take the results with a big grain of salt. Given that SocialShield told me it could find no photos of my daughter on Facebook (despite the fact that there are over 700) and that it returned a false positive MySpace result for my mother leads me to question the accuracy of the report.

These are my initial impressions after using SocialShield for two days. In this time span, the report has shown no new activity even though both my daughter and I (and our friends) have been active online. Obviously, the tool is not intended for short-term use, so you may choose to try it on your own. I look forward to hearing your feedback and experience with this and other similar tools.
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Facebook GeoLocation...Really?

 There was an article this morning on CNN's website about Facebook's new foray into geolocation.  You can read it here:  http://www.cnn.com/2010/TECH/social.media/08/11/facebook.foursquare.cnet/index.html?hpt=Sbin

Geolocation is an emerging technology, especially among (but is not limited to) smartphones.  Simply put, geolocation tracks the geographical location of a user and reports it.  That information can then be used in a variety of ways - if I'm in a strange city looking for a restaurant, my smartphone can help me find one without much effort because it knows exactly where I am.  That's cool.  There are also apps that allow people to locate friends, recommend venues, and track family members, all based on their locations.  Even this blog uses geolocation: scroll down to the bottom of the screen and you will see that I am tracking the location of all my visitors.  Geolocation services can be useful in the right context.

So how will Facebook be using geolocation?  There has been no formal explanation yet.  In fact, though the reports of geolocation services are coming from anonymous Facebook insiders, the company has not commented on this feature to date.  Many experts think it will mimic the functionality of Foursquare.  Foursquare is a web and mobile application that allows registered users to connect with friends and update their location. If that is the case, then Facebook's geolocation will have the capability of reporting where a person is when they are logging in to Facebook.

My first question is why?  With all of the inane dribble that people post on Facebook, now we have to know where they are when they are posting it?  "Hey everyone...here are pictures of my root canal and here is the exact location of my dentist."  I would guess that Facebook is looking to compete with the increasingly popular Foursquare (whose popularity is a mystery to me) in the mobile space.

My second question is, have they really thought this through?  I understand that this will probably be a service that members will choose whether or not to use.  But the availability of it to children is concerning.  Kids' don't always think things through.  Kids also love new widgets and gizmos and studies show that kids will add new features to their Facebook page without even knowing what they do.  Here is a tool that reports a child's exact location any time they log into Facebook - their home, their friend's houses, their school...do you see what I'm saying?  Talk about making it easy for sexual predators.  The "choice" about whether or not to use this service doesn't make it any safer.  Kids' don't always make the best choices.

I view this as another reason why parents should think twice before letting their kids join Facebook and another reason why parents should constantly be involved with their kids' Facebook lives.

After Facebook's pathetic attempt to put up a "safety" smokescreen with their partnership with CEOP (read about it here), they add a feature like this?  One step sideways, two steps back.  You should be convinced by now that your child's safety is definitely NOT something Facebook cares about and you should react accordingly knowing your children are using Facebook.

The best analogy I can come up with about Facebook is this... If I told you that someone was building a brand new amusement park down the road that ignored every known best practice and precaution for safety, would you let your kids go there?  Would you, at the very least, accompany your child when they visited?  My growing disdain for Facebook's complete indifference over child safety alone tells me to not trust them.  This latest feature is just another step toward a complete lack of privacy online.  If adults want to make that choice, so be it.  But the option shouldn't be available to kids.

Dispelling Some Myths about Private Browsing

In doing my research for my last article, I came across several forums and blog postings that discussed the dangers of private browsing.  Though I think it's great whenever awareness is raised, I discovered that many of these "credible" sources are falling short of their responsibility to ensure their information is accurate (which bugs me).

The latest versions of Internet Explorer and Firefox have a feature called "private browsing."  In Internet Explorer, it's called "InPrivate" browsing and in Firefox it's just called "Private" browsing.  In both cases it can be turned on or off from the Tools menu.  With private browsing enabled, the browser no longer records which sites that it visits.  You won't find record in your browser history, in the cookies folder, or even in the URL drop-down.  It's a feature that was invented to keep people from getting in trouble at work by visiting non-work related sites.  It's also widely used by kids to hide their tracks from their parents and teachers.  It is definitely a feature that parents should be concerned about and I don't want to detract from that concern with this posting.

The incorrect information that I have seen scattered about the Internet is that private browsing is a way that kids can defeat tools like NetNanny, CyberSitter, K9 Web, McAfee Family Protection, and Norton Online Family.  The myth is that if a child enables private browsing, then these parental control applications can no longer detect the sites the child visits. WRONG.  Enabling private browsing doesn't mask the sites that the browser accesses, it merely prevents the site details from being logged by the computer.  The site's URL and content are still examined by parental control software before it is allowed to open in the browser.  Therefore, objectionable sites on your blocked list are still recognized and blocked.  And even if they did get through by some freak circumstance, just because IE or Firefox doesn't log the visit with private browsing turned on, doesn't mean your parental control software is ignoring it in its log (so you will still see it listed).

I tested this extensively for all of the products I listed above and not once could I circumvent the parental control settings by enabling private browsing.  If you have one of these products, rest easy.  As long as they are configured correctly private browsing is no threat.

Norton Online Family

Those of you that follow this blog have read my reviews of products like K9 Web and McAfee Family Protection.  Symantec (Norton) also has a product in this space and I thought I'd take a moment to give you some info about it.

I have known about this product since it was introduced in February of 2009 but haven't had the time to really dive into it until now.  Two weeks ago I installed it on one of my test machines and began banging away on it.  For a free product, I'm pretty happy with the results.

Norton describes the primary function of this tool as providing insight to parents on their childrens' online activity and actionable tools to control that activity once they understand it.  That's a good foundation to build on.  One of the big problems with many of the big parental control software packages is that there are literally hundreds of  different settings you could configure but the question is always, "how do I set this up to work best for my family?"  Every family is different, every child uses the Internet differently, so a tool that first figures out your kids' online habits is off to a good start.

Norton Online Family provides the following:

• Web monitoring and blocking
• Configurable time limits for Internet access
• Social network monitoring
• Chat monitoring
• Search monitoring
• Customizable alerts that can be set up to contact you via e-mail or on your mobile device

The software is a "cloud" product (as in "cloud computing"), meaning the bulk of the application is handled by Norton's servers not your machine.  In fact, the installation onto your machine is very small.  It was very easy to install and setup (took me about 6 minutes, end-to-end).  Once installed, it asks you to set up accounts for each of your children, specifying their ages and genders as you do.  After you have the accounts set up, you can select from a generic/default configuration for filtering/monitoring, or you are free to customize the settings for each child.  The default filter levels were very comprehensive and I couldn't get much past them.  And in the rare case that I could get around them, the breech was recorded in the log and I could easily add the offending site to the block list.

Feature by feature the product worked as I hoped it would.  It has the same strengths that you see in K9 Web and many of the same weaknesses that McAfee Family Protection struggles with.  The monitoring tools work well, the default filter levels are comprehensive, the customizable alerts were a little slow (I got a message about my attempted access to Playboy.com about 15 minutes after I tried it) but worked as expected.  Like McAfee Family, it filtered some of the major chat and IM sites but not all (though, like McAfee Family, you could add the sites it can't handle to the blocked list), it doesn't control messaging in online gaming, It is limited to the major browsers (IE and Firefox - though it did work with Safari to my surprise) and it makes no attempt to block webcam access (in fact, you have no program by program access control like McAfee Family offers). 

Given these limitations, you may be wondering why I didn't give it as rough of a review as I did McAfee Family...because Norton Online Family is FREE.  If I am going to pay for something (like McAfee Family) then it better live up to my expectations.  Norton Online Family exceeded my expectations for a free product.

Overall, I would definitely recommend it to parents.  It's a great tool with great features and for the cost, you can't beat it.  On a scale of 1 to 10, I would give it a solid 7.

Here is the link to the site: https://onlinefamily.norton.com/familysafety/loginStart.fs

And in the interest of heading off the questions before they come in, no, you do not need to be running Norton's antivirus software to use this and yes, it will work with any antivirus software product.

Apple iPhone 4 - Two Things Parents Should be Worried About

I was at a restaurant last week and saw a 13ish year old girl with Apple's latest iPhone, the iPhone 4.  Not sure what parents are dropping that kind of money for a kid's phone but obviously someone is. There are several cool new features on the iPhone 4 but unfortunately, anytime a new technology is introduced into the mainstream, some creep is out there inventing ways to pollute it.

Worry #1

The AP released an article today titled Adult industry sees iPorn potential in new phone.  You can read the article here.  In summary it talks about iPhone 4's new videoconferencing feature called FaceTime and how several porn companies have already created pornography related services for it.  The iPhone 4 has two cameras, one forward-facing and one backward-facing.  The backward-facing phone allows you to use your iPhone to make video calls, allowing the recipient to see your face and if they have an iPhone 4, you can see theirs.  Porn companies are seeing this capability as a golden opportunity to take the "1-900" concept to a new level, providing video conferencing phone sex (obviously for a per-minute fee).

Of course this revelation gives Apple heartburn since they have removed all offensive content from iTunes.  Steve Jobs was quoted as saying "it is Apples mission to keep the iPhone free from pornography."  I've blogged about it in the past and I think it's admirable that they put forth the effort.  So you might ask, why doesn't Apple stop this new FaceTime porn?  They can't.  Using FaceTime is no different than making a regular phone call.  Apple can't block you from calling certain numbers on your phone and that's really what you would be doing if you used FaceTime to access one of these new porn services.  You're just making a phone call and turning on your camera (as is your recipient).

Undoubtedly, this new avenue to pornography is concerning but it's not Apple's fault nor is it their responsibility to control.  I also think (and this might shock you) that the pornography itself isn't the greatest risk here.  The greater risk is in how FaceTime works.  I won't bore you with the technical details of how FaceTime functions, but know this:  In order for you to use FaceTime with another person (including a porn service) they need to have your personal cell phone number AND, in order for them to use it in this fashion, you have to give them permission.  Think about that...some sleazy porn company gets your personal phone number and your permission to use your phone number for their own purposes.  Great idea.  How long will it be before they start calling you and charging you $9.99 per minute for it?  I've also read that some of these services won't be requiring a credit card to join and that for your "convenience" they will just add the charge to your next AT&T bill.  At least the credit card thing will help keep some kids away but not the automatic billing.

What should a responsible parent do?  Again, my first question is...does your teenager really need a $400 iPhone?  That being said, if they must have one, talk to them and remind them that since you pay the bills, you will discover the use of such a service.  Then watch your credit card and AT&T bill for strange charges.

Worry #2

It was announced last week that there is already a "jailbreak" available for iPhone 4.  What is a jailbreak?  The iPhone is built to only download apps and content from iTunes.  From the manufacturer, the iPhone does not have the capability to access apps or content from any other site.  A jailbreak is a program that unlocks the iPhone, allowing it to download apps from a multitude of other sites, many of them geared toward porn or illegal purposes (like providing viruses for you to send to your enemy's phones).  Between iTunes policies against offensive content and products like the Mobicip safe browser for the iPhone, it is very difficult for children to access bad stuff with the iPhone.  But if they jailbreak the iPhone they have opened the door to an entire world of bad things, including apps that can undermine every parental control you have installed on their device.

Here is the scariest part.  Kids can run a jailbreak extremely easily.  By visiting a site that hosts such programs with the iPhone, a kid can run a jailbreak with a single touch of a button.  Most jailbreak's are free and none of them require proof of age to run. 

Also, I have to mention that many iPhones have been ruined by idiots downloading an "underground" app after a jailbreak, only to find that it hides a virus that fries the phone.  There have also been cases where people have written underground apps that seem to be one thing (like porn) but are really collecting all of your personal info from your phone and sending it to some unsavory character.  Underground apps are a really bad idea because the creators of them are accountable to no one.

What can a responsible parent do?  This one is tough.  Unless you are savvy enough to monitor the sites your kid visits from his/her iPhone, you are out of luck.  If you do look at your child's Internet history on their iPhone, look for websites with the word "jailbreak" in the title.  I won't list specific site addresses here because I don't want to enable any devious kids who might be reading.  Other than that, there really isn't much you can do but check your child's phone for offensive apps.  If you see something related to pornography or illegal activities, they probably have jailbreaked phone (I know, bad English but that's the official term).

You could also explain to them that a jailbreaked phone is very susceptible to damage via viruses and that if their iPhone is ruined as a result, you will not be replacing it.  That might motivate them.

Almost Disaster - A Brush with a Sexual Predator

Got a call over the weekend from a friend in Montana who I haven't talked to in ages.  After our initial "haven't talked to you in a while..." chit chat he told me the real reason he was calling.  His 16 year old daughter had been getting very bizarre and inappropriate messages in a chat room from a guy who called himself "Travis."  The conversation ended when Travis sent pictures of his genitalia to the girl and she told her Mom about it.

As an occasional reader of my blog, my friend remembered an article I posted last year about the skill of some of these predators and asked if I could re-post it to help him spread the word.  So here it is.

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Mind of a Sexual Predator

A friend of mine is a post-doctoral student in child psychology at Indiana University.  Knowing that I regularly speak about online safety for children, she sent me an excerpt from a study of convicted online sexual predators that she and a team of researchers were working on. The study itself was horrifying, but what struck me as particularly disturbing was the transcript of an actual chat room conversation between a sexual predator and his 14 year old female prey.

Here's some background.  The chatroom in question was one of the more popular teem chatrooms online.  To avoid lawsuits, I'll omit the name of the site (not that it matters - it could have happened at any of them).  As I said, the potential victim was a 14 year old girl - good student, active in school, soccer player, very popular.  The predator was a 37 year old male, recently unemployed from a snack vending company, posing as a 15 year old boy.

The conversation I am going to show you was originally comprised largely of textspeak - the online shorthand kids use to text and chat online.  It has been translated to standard English so you don't have to spend time looking things up.  What is also included in the transcript of the conversation are notes about the tactics that the predator admitted to using at various points in the conversation.  The lines written by the child are denoted with a letter C and the lines written by the predator with a letter P.  Ingenious and chilling at the same time.  I will reveal the outcome of this situation after the transcript.

[the predator admitted spending 3 days monitoring a particular chatroom to get a feel for the conversations and the topics kids were discussing.  During that time he had two browser windows open...one with the chatroom and one with Google where he would research the topics the kids brought up so he could sound like he knew what he was talking about]

C:  ...Kevin Jonas is the hottest
P: Oh my god he is gay!
C: He is not.  How can you say that?  He has a girlfriend.
P: So.  Still gay
C: You would know.  Are you gay too?
P: No.  I just think he acts gay.

[predator did a search on Yahoo Answers to find out who the most popular bands with teens are.]

P: Panic At the Disco is way better
C: Oh my god, I love them.

[predator does a search to find out the most recent time they performed]

P: I got to see them at the Hard Rock in Vegas
C: Shut up. You did not
P: Did too.  Went with parents in July and we stayed at Hard Rock.
C: Were they awesome?
P: Unbelievable

[predator downloads a video clip of the show from the internet and forwards it as a video message to his cell phone]

P: I recorded part of it on my phone
C: You can get busted for that
P: They didn't catch me.  I'm sly :-o
P:  It's even awesome on my ghetto video
C: I want to see it
P: I'll send it to you.  What's your number?
C:  I'm not giving you my number.  You might be a stalker ;-)
P: I'm just going to send you the video. Besides, you will know my number and then you never have to answer if I call.
C: True.  It's xxx-xxx-xxxx

[Predator looks up the area code online.  Then predator sends the video clip]

P: Did you get it?
C: Yes
P: You're from St. Louis?  Oh my god I was just there visiting my uncle.
C: Really, where?

[predator uses Google maps to find a neighborhood in the suburbs of St. Louis]

P: Webster Groves
C: Oh my god that's like two minutes from me
P: Where do you live?
C: Kirkwood

[predator Googles the schools in Kirkwood]

P:  Do you go to xxx high school?
C: Yes, how did you know?

At this point the child had to leave the chatroom to go to soccer practice.  On the way to practice she started talking to her mother about the conversation.  Her mother immediately became concerned and contacted the police.  With the girls cooperation, the police went back to the chatroom and posed as her.  The predator monitored the chatroom continuously until he saw her ID return and instantly engaged.  After another hour of conversation, the predator had arranged a meeting with the child (actually the police) and one week later was apprehended by police while trying to meet with the 14 year old girl.

The scariest part about this...I can see how almost any child might be tricked into revealing personal information like this child did.  Talk to your kids!

Yoursphere.com

As promised, here is my review of Yoursphere.com.  Both of my kids (12 and 13) created profiles and spent the day yesterday exploring.  I got them connected around 9:30am and when I came home from work at 5:30pm, they were still on.  What does that tell you?


What is Yoursphere.com? A kid-safe alternative to Facebook and Myspace. We all know how dangerous social networking can be for kids. Mary Kay Hoal, founder of Yoursphere, had a great quote that I love: "when our kids wanted to ride a bike, we didn't just get them a bike and drop them off on a freeway and say 'goodbye.' With the Internet we need to apply that same approach." I couldn't agree more. Yoursphere is a social networking environment for kids that provides a safe and creative environment for them to learn the ropes of online social interaction. The "About Us" page from Yoursphere (which, by the way, was very hard to find - come on Yoursphere guys! :-) ) says this: "Yoursphere is about supporting the positive, age-appropriate interests of our children by engaging them in purposeful activities in a social networking community while educating them about good online citizenship and internet safety."  In my opinion, this site does just that.

How does it work?  Kids can create an account in one of two ways:  1. they can go to www.yoursphere.com and click the "Sign Up" button and fill in some information, including a parent's e-mail address.  Yoursphere then contacts the parent, notifying them of the child's request and asking for permission to proceed. 2. Parents can go to www.yoursphere.com and click the "Sign Up" button and create a family account, identifying his/her participating children and giving permission for the accounts.  Once the accounts have been created, kids can set up profiles with safe information about themselves (nothing personal like addresses or phone numbers).  Once a profile has been created, children are free to explore "spheres" which are topic specific categories that have a variety of activities and content.  For example, there is a Photography sphere where kids can post pictures they've taken, read comments about their work, get tips, etc.  Kids can also create their own spheres about anything they want.  My daughter created a sphere about hiking.  Then they can determine whether the sphere is open to everyone or just their friends.  Inside of a sphere a kid can blog, post pictures, videos, documents, etc.

What are the positives? I was actually extremely impressed with Yoursphere.  There are so many of these "safe online environment for kids" sites floating around and most of them miss the mark.  My kids have tried out a few and in their words the majority of them are "lame."

• Yoursphere is safe -  No one over 18 can join or even browse the environment.  Parents control their kids access and can cancel accounts at any time.  For kids under 13, parents have a real-time dashboard view into what they are posting and who they are talking to.  Safeguards are in place to block bad language and objectionable content, and the site is monitored constantly to look for potential problems.
• Kids are in control - they choose whether their content is open to just their friends or the whole Yoursphere world.
• Yoursphere has a BUNCH of stuff - this site is great at cultivating creativity in kids.  There are so many different avenues for kids to safely express themselves.  Kids can blog, they can post pictures, post videos, upload artwork, post poems or stories, and customize the environment to express whatever mood they are in.  It also has games and content focused around sports, fashion, TV and movies, travel, performing arts, animals, and causes (e.g. UNICEF, American Cancer Society, etc.).
• Cool look and layout - The site is slick and appealing to kids (unlike Facebook or Myspace), as well as being intuitive and easy to navigate.  And so far it is free from ads.
• Yoursphere put together the right team - I was impressed to discover that the creative force behind Yoursphere is not the typical corporate collection.  Yoursphere includes a cross section of kids, the same age as those using their site, as part of their advisory and editorial staff.  I believe this will help them to stay in touch with kids and remain relevant and credible.  
• UPDATE - Yoursphere IS free (thanks for the e-mail Yoursphere).

What are the negatives?  Not many.  My overall reaction to the site is very positive, however, there were a few things that caused concern.

• What is the cost?  The home page of Yoursphere.com has a very noticeable "It's Free" statement in plain view.  However, online reviews of Yoursphere by reputable sites (like CNET) say it's free for 30 days and then it's either $4.95 per month or $39.95 per year.  Which is it?  Security to the extent that Yoursphere offers isn't cheap and I have NO problem paying a nominal fee to aid in that effort.  But if there is a cost, there was nothing during the sign up process that indicated it.  Yoursphere needs to be very clear about charges from the start and explain any/all things on the site that might require a fee (seems sneaky if you don't).  If there is no fee, then make the "It's Free" statement a clickable link and explain that you used to charge a fee but don't anymore or something to discredit the countless reviews that say you do.
  UPDATE - Already got an e-mail from Yoursphere on this.  They are FREE.  They used to charge but found the fee to be a deterrence.   In the interest of doing good over making money, they have waived the fee.
• Kids over 13 are out of bounds for parents - The parental monitoring of child activities on Yoursphere is fantastic...as long as your kid is under 13.  I've got one under 13 and one over 13.  My 12 year old's account has a dashboard where I can see everything he does online.  My 13 year old's account does not.  All I can do with her account is cancel it.  I understand why they do this - they want kids to feel empowered and have a sense of privacy.  I get that and kind of agree with it AS LONG AS they are kicking butt at the security stuff behind the scenes.  Taking away my ability to monitor my 13 - 18 year old child's activities puts a great deal of trust in the Yoursphere people.  Some parents will have a real issue with this.  All I can say is the Yoursphere safety people better be doing their jobs.
• Parents can't poke around - With the "no adults" safety feature (other than the parent dashboard), you can't see your child's profile or content they have posted unless they choose to show you.  First let me say, parents, you should be setting rules requiring your children to let you into their online lives at any moment upon your request.  It is, I believe, your responsibility to enforce this, not Yoursphere's or any other site.  Again, I know Yoursphere does this to give kids a sense of privacy and empowerment (which are important) but I think parents will have a problem with this.  Again, Yoursphere better work very hard at building trust with limits like this in place.

What are kids saying?  Here is a statement from my 13 year old daughter: "I love Yoursphere. It is awesome and so easy to use. I like that there are games and that you can pick who you want to see your profile. I also like that you can write your own blogs, pick who sees them and make spheres. It is so cool that you can upload pictures onto your profile and put links to other websites that you think people will like onto your blogs. Yoursphere is great!"

In the "social networking for kids" space, there are, in my opinion, only two sites that get it right - Yoursphere and Imbee.  Imbee was very slick and had some really cool features but they have two big strikes against them: 1. They got in trouble with the FTC for violating the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) by storing children's personal info without parents approval.  How can you be a site that advocates child safety and violate COPPA?  Someone didn't do their due diligence  2.  About a year ago they disappeared off the face of the Earth.  I'm not exactly sure why but with no warning to members or prior announcements, they just shut down.  Their website now claims a relaunch in "summer 2010" but now that they have frustrated over 50,000 users, it may be difficult to regain trust. 

Yoursphere is cool and has a great deal of potential.  However, if they are going to keep today's kids interested, I think there are a few things they need (that I'm sure they have thought of and may be planning).

• Music - Yes, they have a "Music" sphere where information about various artists is posted but that's not what I'm referring to.  If they could somehow offer streaming or downloadable music it would be huge.  I know this gets into some serious licensing issues but word on the cyber-street is that Imbee is planning to do it.
• TV and Movies - again, yes there is a "TV and Movies" sphere where info is posted and kids can comment but streamed movie trailers, selected episodes of popular shows, movie clips, etc would be very cool.
• Games - the games Yoursphere has are good but nothing groundbreaking.  The genre of games that both my son and my daughter (and MANY of their friends) are into right now are simulation games like Farmville, Zoo Tycoon, Animal Crossing, Rollercoaster Tycoon, etc. Games where kids create and cultivate something and interact with others while doing it.  These games are entertaining and they keep kids coming back.
• Limited Adult Access - Imbee used to have a feature where parents, teachers, camp counselors, youth ministers, etc. could create pages and post content related to a certain activity.  This included class information and homework help, upcoming events, useful information, etc.  The ability for a "safe" adult to create an educational, cause oriented, or otherwise helpful sphere would be awesome.
  UPDATE - Again thanks to an e-mail from Yoursphere, I discovered I was not entirely correct in this bullet item.  Yoursphere does allow educators to create class-based spheres and post educational content to them.  Teachers can then interact with the class as a whole but not one on one with students (that kind of interaction belongs in the classroom anyway, right?).

Here's the link:  http://www.yoursphere.com


Overall, I am extremely impressed with Yoursphere and definitely recommend it. On a scale of 1 to 10, I give it a 9 and with a little work, it could be a solid 10.

Great Write-Up on Yoursphere.com

Wow!  I got a very gracious write-up on Yoursphere.com's site.  You can read the article here.

http://www.yoursphereforparents.com/2010/07/two-powerful-solutions-with-the-potential-to-change-the-internet.html

If you don't know what Yoursphere.com is, stay tuned.  I'll write more about it tomorrow.

UPDATE
Ok, I know I promised you more today but once I got into this, I discovered it has so much stuff, I decided to take more time looking around.  I signed up for a parent account and signed my kids up for accounts and am letting them bang around on it for a while.  I will report back more when I have spent some time with it.  All I can say now is...so far...so cool!

Thanks to Mary Kay Hoal for the kind words.

McAfee Family Protection 2010 Review

On a scale of 1 to 10...I'd give it a 5.

In 2009, McAfee added a product called Family Protection to their suite of security tools.  This product is strictly a parental control product that allows parents to monitor and filter the online content that their children access.  It is not an anti-virus/anti-malware product (nor was it advertised to be) so don't make the mistake of installing this and thinking it's going to completely protect your computer.  It won't and wasn't designed for that.  What it will do...or should I say what it claims to do, is allow parents to monitor the websites, instant messaging, chats, and e-mail that their children are visiting, set up filters to block objectionable content, set time limits as to when children can access the Internet, and helps parents prevent kids from sharing personal information.

I really wanted to like this product when it came out.  It was a great idea and I'm a fan of McAfee because I am familiar with their genuine efforts to help people and advance the cause of Internet safety.  Sure they make money from Internet safety but they also do a good amount of pro bono work raising awareness, especially in area of child protection.  I have been impressed with them numerous times in the past.

I downloaded the latest version of product (Family Protection 2010), installed it on a machine, and spent the next few weeks testing it out.  I was actually surprised at it's shortcomings.  McAfee usually "gets it" but it seems like this product was something they rushed out the door without thinking it through.  It missed the mark on some important features AND they seemed to use an underhanded marketing ploy to sell it (I'm not sure if that was McAfee's fault or the online retailers), boldly proclaiming that it helps parents mitigate threats from cyber-bullying, communication with strangers, and posting confidential information; and then in the fine print saying "as long as you block social networking sites where these activities can happen".  Come on!  I can mitigate those threats by switching my computer off, but computer manufacturers don't sell that as a feature of the off switch.

Here is my experience with it:

It took me three tries to install it on my Windows 7 machine.  Twice it hung in the middle of the installation process (I waited 2 hours on it and nothing) and the third time it told me that I had to close Firefox (which wasn't open) and after closing that message box 3 or 4 times it finally worked.  Once I got it installed I started poking around.  Windows 7 seemed to stumble on the different accounts I set up in the software, requiring multiple login attempts before I could get each account to work.  After about 20 minutes of fiddling with it, it seemed to start working correctly.

It's easy enough to use - very user friendly.  It didn't take much time or tech savvy to feel comfortable navigating around the interface.  Basically it works by setting up accounts for each family member and then determining the limitations of each account.  Great concept.  I set up a few test accounts and configured them for different levels of filtering and monitoring.  At first it seemed like it was working very well.  It blocked the sites I told it to block for each account, it recorded an AOL chat, it allowed me to see what I had done on Facebook in one of the accounts.  It was highly configurable and flexible.  Very cool.

Then I did what any mildly competent kid would do:  I Googled ways to beat the tool.  First thing that came up...the software only works if your kids are using Internet Explorer or Firefox.  Google's new "Chrome" browser is completely uninhibited by the limits set up in the software.  You may or may not have heard of Chrome but it is a freely available and increasingly popular browser that millions of people are using worldwide.  I downloaded Chrome to my test machine and sure enough, I was able to go to any site I wanted to despite the limits set up in Family Protection. I wonder how McAfee missed that?!?  It also doesn't work with Safari - Apple's free browser that installs when you update your iTunes (in fact, you have to uncheck the Safari checkbox when you update iTunes if you don't want Safari).  Yes you can block access to Chrome and Safari altogether with the software but come on, that's a cop out (that's like making tires that only drive on asphalt and not gravel, dirt, or concrete).

Instant messaging was also something that came up on my Google search.  Apparently the tool only allowed parents to control chats on AOL, Yahoo, MSN, and ICQ.  Any other Instant messaging service was immune to the product and allowed kids to do/say whatever they wanted to whomever they wanted.  Using the IM feature in Skype, I was free to spew obscenities to complete strangers (not that I actually did that).

At this point I was remembering that scene from the movie Independence Day when the oddball director of research on the alien craft said "we've been down here 15 years...as you can imagine, they don't let us out much."  Are the McAfee designers secluded in some underground lab with no access to the real world?  In our online society right now there are 4 popular browsers and about 15 different instant messaging services.  McAfee chooses to address only half the browsers and a fourth of the IM.  I should also note that the product claims to provide control over webcam access but in truth it only provides such control if your webcams are being used via one of the instant messaging services it knows about OR if you just block the webcam software altogether (again...cop out).

My next investigation was into something else kids would do...online gaming.  I was playing a variety of online games through the product and on some games (like Warcraft and a few other multiplayer games) it would randomly drop the connection.  I know this isn't a big deal to parents but think about this: The more frustrated your child gets with the product, the more motivated he/she will be to seek out workarounds. 

Another complaint I will add is not my own, but that of a coworker who owns the product.  His installation process failed miserably and he had to call McAfee's tech support.  According to him the tech support experience was a nightmare.  He invested over 6 hours of time to resolve his issue - that issue being that the product wouldn't install correctly if you have AVG (free antivirus software) installed. His take away was that you probably better have some McAfee product as your primary antivirus software or you are wasting your money buying Family Protection 2010.

Ok McAfee...come on!  This product has some real potential and a few features (like YouTube filtering) that are super cool.  You need to put some more time and thought into this tool before you rush it out to retail.  You've earned a better reputation than this with your other products and families deserve better.  I'm a big fan of your company and I know you can improve this product.  Let's see it.

Youth Safety on a Living Internet - Sorry Guys, You Missed

A year or so ago, the National Telecommunications and Information Administration (NTIA) put together a special "work group" whose purpose was to research and formulate usable strategies for Internet safety among children in the U.S.  This work group, titled the Online Safety and Technology Working Group (OSTWG), was comprised of some of the top names in Internet technologies (people from Microsoft, Yahoo, Facebook, Verizon, etc.), online safety organizations (WiredSafety, Internet Keep Safe Coalition, National Cyber Security Alliance, etc.), child behavior and psychology experts, family services organizations, and legislators.  In short, the member list was a "who's who" of the Online Safety for Kids cause.

The result of their effort was a report that came out in June of 2010 (which you can download and read here) entitled Youth Safety on a Living Internet.  I have recently completed reading the 139 page document and definitely have some opinions about their efforts and especially their recommendations.

My overall reaction to the report was a contrasting mixture of applause, annoyance, and frustration.  I was thrilled that this topic was important enough for the Federal Government to put together such an impressive task force with the obvious vigor and concern that they did.  This wasn't a lame attempt at creating an image of concern to appease voters and taxpayers.  This was a genuine, well executed effort focused on the well-being of children in the U.S..  Never before has our government approached this topic with such energy.  The statistics and results that came form the research were extremely valuable and concise.  I was impressed.  However, the recommendations the group produced as a result were, I believe, mild and ineffectual.  After all of the excellent research they did, their list of suggestions was the same old list of "feel good" actions that any online safety site suggests: teach children to be good digital citizens, educate parents and teachers, improve parental controls in software, etc.  These are important concepts to be sure, but they certainly aren't ground breaking and they don't really help us advance the cause.  In summary, the group proved there was a definite, growing problem around the increasing risk to child safety online.  Their suggested solution...."keep doing what you're doing...just do more of it."  That just doesn't cut it for me.  Their own research proved that what we have been doing isn't keeping pace with the growing threat.  If it were, there wouldn't be a growing threat, right?  So, in light of the old saying "you're either part of the problem or part of the solution," I will offer my own input as opposed to being someone who just complains and offers no solution.

The first problem I saw with their solution set was that it seemed out of touch with the real online world.  While their research was very clinical and thorough, it didn't really exist in a credible plane.  What do I mean by that?  A good example is their proclamation that "we need to teach kids to be good digital citizens."  I agree with that statement but the statement in itself, nor what it implies is a solution.  40 years ago we were dealing with traditional bullying (as opposed to cyber-bullying) and there was a big push inspired by Jane Elliott's study "A Class Divided" to teach children to be better citizens and promote respect.  It was definitely a hot topic item in the early 70's.  Did it make a difference? Sure - Awareness among teachers and parents was definitely increased.  Did it inspire any dramatic changes in children?  Not really.  Has bullying decreased on playgrounds since that study?  No.  The results of any study can't be taken alone as a solution.  Kids don't care about statistics.  Reporting a rise in instances of bullying nationwide will not influence a class of 6th graders on whether or not they should bully each other.  Saying "our study shows that A & B are bad so we need to teach children to avoid A & B" is a cop out.  Yes, you should inform children and adults about A & B but you should also deal with A & B.  This study made some very valid points and brought some great information to light.  But the recommendations lack substance and, I believe, it is primarily due to their avoidance of some of the basic truths you must admit to when tackling the topic of Internet Safety.

What are these truths?  Here you go:

1.  The online world is fluid - it is always changing and it is always in motion.  Think about this:  The Internet as we know it was born in 1983 when the TCP/IP protocol was introduced.  It took 7 years for technology to catch up to it enough that it was usable to the public.  In 1994, the IMG tag was added to HTML and the first image appeared on a public website.  That's 11 years from the appearance of the Internet to the appearance of the first image file.  From 1999 to 2003 we saw the introduction of music file sharing (Napster), instant messaging, chatting, video posting, and wireless networks.  In the past four years we have been publicly immersed in Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, Skype, YouTube, online multiplayer video games, iPods, smartphones (with cameras and video), iPads, eBooks, GPS, the list goes on and on.  The point is, we are now experiencing more change and new technologies in a span of a few months than we did in a few years, 10 years ago.  The rate of change is already outpacing our ability to keep up from a safety perspective and it will only get worse.

2.  We face the biggest crisis right now - Most parents, educators, and other responsible adults today were born before the online era.  We remember when there were 3 or 4 TV stations, rotary phones, and Polaroid cameras.  The online world being thrust upon is now is alien to us.  In the OSTWG report, Mike Donlin of Seattle Public Schools referred to this group of adults as being "digital immigrants" and that kids today were "digital natives."  At best we can only learn this foreign language but our children are completely fluent in it.  The adults that are trying to teach children the correct way to navigate the information super highway don't know the road or the equipment like the kids do.  It is far too easy for kids to outsmart and out maneuver adults online and that makes our task of keeping them safe extremely difficult. Some experts say "the good news is that when these kids are adults, they'll be better equipped to control things."  Maybe...but think about this:  The more they get away with now, the more the objectionable becomes mainstream.  By the time they are adults, what will "acceptable use" be?

3. The online world doesn't change human nature - It amplifies certain elements of it.  It's far too easy to blame the Internet for bad things such as pornography, sexual predation, and bullying.  But the truth is those things happened long before there was ever an Internet and they will continue with or without it.  We have to be willing to admit some behaviors as attributes of human nature, especially in children, and accept them if we are ever going to deal with them correctly.  For example, the biggest consumers of online pornography in the US is boys between the ages 12 and 17.  Will taking away online pornography reduce the drive boys feel to explore the female body?  When I was that age, it was boys waiting for the opportunity to sneak into someone's father's closet and look at Playboy magazines.  The Internet didn't create the desire, it only made the object of the desire more accessible.  The same is true with bullying.  Bullying has existed probably as long as humankind has walked this Earth.  "Cyber" didn't create "bullying" it simply changed its delivery.  Creepy perverts are going to exist whether they are cruising neighborhoods in beat up old vans or they are cruising the Internet with state of the art computers.  Online is not equal to evil, it is just the latest tool-set being used for the same old purposes.

4. Kids will seek out ways to defy rules - Has it ever not been this way?  It is, in kids minds, part of the passage to adulthood.  By defying rules and society's conventions, they are declaring their independence and showing their ability to break away from their parents (or so they think).  The pursuit of things that are considered "taboo" by kids has always existed for this reason.  In the 50's it was smoking, drinking, and sex.  In the 60's it was sex, drugs, and rock-n-roll.  Today it's pornography, sexting, chatting/flirting with strangers, playing graphic/violent video games, exploring counter-cultures (like anorexia or suicide sites), cyber-bullying, etc.  Our teens and pre-teens are striving to differentiate themselves from their parents in the hopes that they will be recognized by their peers as adults.  Being online doesn't cause this, it's just a medium that makes it easier.

So, what do these truths have to do with creating a practical strategy?  Anyone trying to formulate a plan to improve online safety for children MUST embrace these concepts as reality and plan around them.  This group did not.  When a group of intelligent people spend over a year doing research and recommend things like "the improvement of parental control software" as a viable solution, it proves they haven't admitted these truths.  At the exponential rate at which technology is changing, by the time they have improved parental controls, a new technology will be released that wasn't accounted for.  In other words, by the time their new safety software comes out, it's obsolete.  Their own research proved that change is accelerating online. How is a solution that is currently not keeping up (we are already producing/improving parental control software like NetNanny and Cyber Sitter hand over fist) going to improve the situation in the future?

Another suggestion produced by the OSTWG is to "better educate adults (parents and teachers) about the online risks and ways to prevent them....in order to enable them to teach children to be better digital citizens."  WE are going to guide THEM?  That's like having a Boy Scout teach a Navy SEAL about survival and combat tactics.  Most adults today know little about the online sandbox their children play in.  Teachers and parents lack the credibility to influence children's online decision-making and behavior.  The minute a child can say "you don't know what it's really like" you've lost.  True, this may not be an issue 10 years from now as the adults then will be digital natives.  But we still have to do something now.

I could go on and on citing examples of how the OSTWG nailed the conclusions and botched the suggestions but enough negative.  I know what you are thinking "...Alright smart guy, you seem to have all the answers, how would you solve these problems?"  Well, I don't have ALL the answers but I have two ideas that might work if we (as a society) can think a little outside the box.

First, someone has to come up with a digital "stamp of approval" for online content.  One organization sets one standard (this would be a great job for the OSTWG).  For a website to get this digital stamp of approval, they have to meet a strict set of criteria that defines their content, including restrictions about other sites they link to.  Get a company like Microsoft or Google to make a browser that only opens "approved" sites and have schools (and parents) only use that browser on their machines.  Safe search sites could be set up to only show results that have the "stamp."  One of the good suggestions by the OSTWG was to encourage industry leaders like Yahoo, Microsoft, Apple, Google, Verizon, and others to assist in online safety efforts by adopting policies recommended by the group.  Well, here is their chance.  I believe any reputable site that hosts educational content would absolutely go through the process of getting their site approved so their sites could be viewed in schools.  In the 80's and 90's Apple recognized the value of indoctrinating children in their technologies by providing free or low cost computers to schools.  Their hope was that the familiarity would generate revenue as children grew into adults and purchased Apple machines.  I believe other sites like Google and Microsoft would also benefit from such an arrangement and therefore would be willing to create kid-safe, "approved" sites.  And once the giants lead the way, other organizations are sure to follow.  What would the federal government's role be in this scenario?  Aside from possibly facilitating the definition of standards (via the OSTWG), they could also legislate very severe consequences for organizations that abuse the system (e.g. changing their content after they have earned the "stamp of approval").  I know that similar systems such as digital security certificates for websites have floundered over the past few years.  Opponents could say the same thing will happen in my scenario.  But part of their problem is that digital certificates are complicated, aren't well understood by the general public, and many people are willing to risk visiting a site that doesn't have a digital security certificate if they think the site has what they want (and lets not forget that you can continue on to a site despite its lack of a certificate).  It is a system that is not well defined, not well promoted, not well enforced, and not really cared about.  If done correctly, a system utilizing a digital "stamp of approval" could work well.  You could also extend the functionality to smartphones, iPods, and video gaming systems.  Individuals could get "approved" so that they could access safe chat rooms and social media and then sites could be set up to allow people to report them if they abuse their "approval" (thereby losing it).  There are many possibilities with a system like this.

Second, channel the message through a credible source.  I work for an IT consulting company.  Our clients are some of the top companies in the US (very smart people) and they readily admit that they don't have credibility in planning and executing large IT projects.  That's why we remain in business.  The same principle applies here.  We as digital immigrants don't have credibility to guide kids through the process of being good digital citizens.  What can we do?  Bring in consultants.  We need people who are old enough to be responsible and "get" the bigger picture of our cause but are young enough and hip enough to maintain credibility and an aura of "coolness" among kids.  I'm talking about college kids.  I'm talking about the older brothers and sisters of our online children.  I'm talking about people who are still in touch with what kids today are going through and are equally familiar with the technologies.  Churches figured this out long ago.  How many churches have college kids as counselors in summer camps?  It's a concept that is sound in principle and has been proven to work.  Parry Aftab of WiredSafety, with all of her national resources, would be the perfect person to spearhead something like this.  Summer or weekend camps, weekly workshops, etc. where kids get together in a safe environment, to play games and interact with each other online and then take time to talk about their experiences with each other and with counselors who have credibility - counselors who can guide them through proper usage - by example not by lecture.  It is the typical retreat/summer camp scenario applied to the online world.  There are organizations out there that are dabbling in this as PART of their camp or retreat curriculum.  Now is the time to stop dabbling and make it mainstream.  It is, I believe, the best way to get the message across.  Of course, for this to work, the counselors would have to be the "right" kind of kids.  But this is also true of church camps and they have accomplished proper selection for years.

No, these two ideas will not completely solve the problems we face.  Both efforts would take a great deal of work to implement and be slow moving at first.  But you have to start somewhere.  We can't keep doing what we are doing (just more of it).  We are dangerously close to being lapped by the bad things lurking on the information super highway.  Online technologies gain popularity because they are new and different - their creators have thought out of the box.  It's time we do the same.

Holy cow that was a long post!

Disney Joins the Cause (Barely)

I'm not sure how long this site has been around.  I've never come across it before.  In any case, Disney has a site devoted to keeping kids safe online.  It's not very substantial and most of the content is a clone of the same old stuff you find a lot of places (in fact I think most of their content came from Wiredsafety.org).  Honestly, I think with their reputation for excellence, Disney could and should do better than this "luke-warm" attempt.  Maybe this is just their first step into the pool. But at least they're in the game right?  Here is the address:


http://home.disney.go.com/guestservices/safety

FOLLOW UP: A reader who works at one of Disney's resorts e-mailed me and said this: "...this site was created as part of Disney Guest Services.  Most resorts have Internet access and Disney felt if children are getting online while on Disney property, they should post something to notify parents and kids about potential dangers.  It was never intended to be a serious resource, more of a warning or disclaimer."

That makes more sense.  However, I still think Disney should make a strong effort.  Who better than them to help advance the cause of Internet safety for kids?

Facebook's New Child Safety Features...Am I Missing Something?

Several articles last week touted Facebook's latest step toward making children safe on their site.  Facebook has partnered with the Child Exploitation and Online Protection (CEOP) Centre from the UK to offer "a new suite of features designed at keeping the Facebook experience safe for kids."  I spent a few hours looking into these new features and honestly....I don't get it.  I can't figure out how these new features are going to offer any real protection for kids while on Facebook.

The big problem for me is that I can't find any clear description about what CEOP is bringing to the table.  The language describing the partnership is very vague.  Here is an example (this text is posted on both Facebook and CEOP's sites):

"Access to the ClickCEOP button will be provided via an application that users can add or bookmark so that it appears on their homepage as not only a constant source of help and reassurance for them but also as a strong visual signal to their friends, family and others that they are in control online."

The appearance of an icon or button on someone's page doesn't actually do anything.  From what I understand, when clicked, the button takes the child to an "information page" where they can also report abuses.  Reporting abuses sounds promising until you learn that Facebook is making no commitment to do anything about reported users and CEOP is only building a database of reported incidents (for what purpose, no one seems to know).  The "information" they refer to is a list of the standard Internet safety advice you can find on a thousand different websites (like mine).  In other words, the button does nothing tangible that can help a child at the crucial moment when their safety is being threatened.

Here is the link to the description of the service: http://www.ceop.police.uk/mediacentre/pressreleases/2010/ceop_12072010fb.asp

From what I understand, here is what it doesn't do:

• It doesn't block offensive content
• It doesn't block unsolicited messages from strangers
• It doesn't prevent children from "friending" strangers
• It doesn't give parents any control or even access to their child's profile or content

Seems to me that these are the things you need to do to make Facebook safe for kids.

Is a 14 year old going to respond to bullying or a sexual advance by searching the CEOP site for "relevant information?"  Do these people even know what a teenager is?  Will teenagers continue to use the "reporting" feature once they realize it does nothing?  Is a sexual predator going to leave a child alone just because of a bookmark that appears on the child's profile page?

Maybe I'm missing something here and I would love for someone from Facebook or CEOP to fill in the missing pieces.  If the information I have is incorrect or incomplete then Facebook needs to do a better job communicating to their user base.  My current opinion is that this is a smokescreen to divert attention from the reality that Facebook is still a fairly unsafe place for kids.  Since the 2007 lawsuit from the State of New York over child safety, Facebook has struggled against a lot of bad press about kids and their site. I hope this is more than just a lame attempt to improve public opinion.  Kids and parents deserve more than that.

Oh, and by the way, you now have to be just 13 to have a Facebook page.

The Danger of "The Fade"

Typical scenario:

Dealing with a 6 year old

A responsible parent wanting their 6 year old to be safe online - isn't extremely tech savvy but is willing to learn. The parent does some research, purchases filtering software, sets up parental controls, and moves the family computer to a "public" area so that they can monitor the child while he/she is online.  The parent takes the time to learn which sites are safe for kids and sets up bookmarks to kid-friendly sites for games and activities.  In short, the parent is very involved in the child's digital life.

Dealing with a 16 year old

Responsible parent cant keep up with all of the different ways their child is connecting online - cell phone, video game console, iPod, not to mention the laptop their school requires them to have which they take into their room or over to friends house to do homework.  Child has MySpace, Facebook, Meebo, and Twitter accounts and two different e-mail addresses. When parent tries to set up parental controls or filtering software the child complains.  When the parent asks the child about their online activities they get resistance and accusations of "invasion of privacy."  In short, the parent gets frustrated and gives up.  I call this "The Fade" as it represents a parent who was very involved and eventually faded away.

The scenario above is extremely common.  In fact, it has been documented in many cases that have ended tragically.  In released court documents in the case of a Long Island teenager who took her own life as a result of cyber-bullying back in March, the mother is quoted as saying "I didn't watch what she did online.  Every time I tried or asked she would get angry..."  It's so easy for parents to be involved in their children's online lives at age 6.  At that age, children expect guidance and rules from parents and honestly, many 6 year olds don't have the socialization to be tech savvy yet.  That means they probably can't even get online without Mom or Dad's help.  16 year olds on the other hand typically don't want Mom or Dad's help and would prefer if their parents left them alone to do as they will.

The irony in all of this is that the time your kids are resisting your involvement in their online lives is the time when they need your guidance the most.  At 6, the online avenues to harmful content are extremely few.  When my kids were 6 we had links to sites like Webkins, Popcap, and National Geographic Kids bookmarked in the browser.  When the kids got on the computer, they clicked one of those buttons and went to that site (and remember, the computer was in the kitchen so even if they stumbled onto something bad it could be addressed immediately).  At 6 kids don't know about what else is out there and they don't care.  All they want to do is entertain themselves.  6 year olds are typically not entertained by bullying people online or pornography.

At 16, it's a different story.  They are much more interested in content that could be harmful to them.  The largest consumer of Internet pornography in the United States is boys between the ages of 12 and 17.  I've got a friend whose son injured himself pretty badly trying to copycat some idiot online who posted a YouTube video on how to make a bomb out of a plastic bottle and some Draino.  The teenage years are when the cliques are forming and the mean-spirited harassment of other kids really kicks into high gear. It is also the time when more and more understandable options are available to them to connect online.  A 6 year old would probably lose interest in Twitter pretty quickly or be confused by all of the configuration required when setting up a Facebook page.  Teenagers aren't so inhibited.  They seek out new avenues to gain popularity, express themselves, and explore their adulthood.

We also have to keep another truth in mind.  The teenage years are the hormonal years.  Various urges are waking in kids that make them do things they've never done before.  Boys will likely seek out information on the female body online.  Girls will seek out social media sources to chat about boys and ultimately bicker about boys (which can lead to cyber-bullying).  Their minds and bodies are actively...hungrily seeking out new stimuli.

So lets go back to our scenario above and word it a little differently.  Just when your child has reached an age where they know how to use every source of social media and Internet connectivity available...just when they reach the age when they are seeking to exhibit their own adulthood by exploring things that are "taboo"... just when they reach the age where they are hormonally supercharged... the parent decides to give them free reign of the Internet?

As a parent, I understand how difficult it is to struggle with your teenagers to get anything done.  You say "pick up your dirty laundry" and they seem tho throw more on the floor.  The teenage years are the most difficult for many parents because it is when their authority is most challenged.  I know it's hard to stay involved in your children's online lives but think about it this way:  You've got a pipe bringing fresh water into the house.  If your teenager decided to take a bucket and collect water from a dirty, oil filled puddle along a road somewhere and then bring that water home to drink and bathe in would you allow it?  What if they said "I'm an adult and I should be allowed to make my own choices?"  Would you back down?  Probably not.  Then why do you back down when they challenge you about their online lives?

Let's not forget something here...you are the parent, they are the children.  You pay the bills, you own the house, you provide them with a wide variety of services (food preparation, laundry, clothing, education, etc.).  You are certainly permitted to have rules and they are obliged to follow them.  Parents seem to step up and get tough when their kids do something stupid that could physically harm themselves but for some reason, the Internet is overlooked.  Is it because that computer, cell phone, or video game console doesn't explode if they misuse it?  Would it change your mind if it did?  Misuse of the internet can cause depression, suicide, anxiety, misdirected sexuality (and in some extreme cases, rape), abduction, violence, vandalism,...the list goes on and on.  Are these not threats to your child's health and well being just like contaminated water would be?

The teenage years are when you should be most involved in your child's online lives.  Know who they interact with online. Make them provide the login credentials (username and password) for their social media (e.g. Facebook) and e-mail accounts.  Reserve the right to get onto their phones or iPods at any time and poke around.  And above all else, you have to actually do these things (not just say you might).  Think of the Internet as a potentially contaminated stream of information that could harm your child.  Guide them through it.  Your job as a parent is to protect them, even if they don't like all of the choices you make.